love?

smile on my face just wont go away, people are people, we always change our minds, love that was once there, might start to fade, or it might burn eternally, for a lifetime. love usually ends in heartbreak, so why do we go out looking for it, around every street and corner, trying to find someone to love us unconditionally, and when we find it, why do we take that for granted, why dont we give them our whole hearts, why dont we show them the very best of us. why do some settle for just sexual attraction? why dont we look in the souls of the ones we love, and love them for all their flaws and imperfections. so many questions, yet no one will know the true answers. when someone leaves our lives, why is it at that very moment when they walk out, we decide we dont want them to leave, when the whole time, we've been pushing them in that direction. and why dont we fight for a love that we know is still there? why do we find it easier to just give up and never look back? all these questions within my head. why? what if movies didn't portray love as such a beautiful thing, what if all movies just showed the heartache and pain, and not the happy endings, would we still want love then? would we still want to be held by someone, their smooth warm skin wrapped around us, if we knew in the end, we'd be longing for that touch again, knowing it may never return? the feeling of their lips, never touching yours again, so sweet so lovely. when that feelings gone, and you no longer can taste that sweet embrace, what then? love is just a word, not a feeling, but an ability. you have the ability to love anyone you want, you have the ability to give your world and soul to someone, but you also have the ability to lose the love you once had, and the ability to give up and move on until you can find that ability to love again in someone else.

My brother !

My brother Jose thinks he's dying, he's such a drama queen :) yes I said QUEEN! As much as we disagree on so much, I don't think that he knows how much he really means to me. For so long I resented having him in this house because I felt as if not only would I have to live up to my parents expectations, but I felt as if they expected me to be as driven and successful as him. I don't feel that way anymore. Over the past year I've realized how much he has impacted my life, and I am so thankful to have him as my older brother. He has taught me so much, about life, and about myself. He may not be my biological brother, but I think that he was meant to be with my family, we aren't blood but that couldn't make us any closer. He's the greatest big brother anyone could ask for. I dread when he goes back to school, cause I feel as if I lose such a great friend when he's gone. He's done so much for me and I appreciate him so much. He's always there for me, and I can talk to him about anything. When he's home we got on each others nerves, but that's just our job. He's the strangest person I've ever met, but also the best person I could ever have in my life.

I love you Jose!

thanks for everything that you have ever done for me.

( by the way, your wacker then smackeners, jackeners, vacaners, & clackeners)

My hands are shaking as I start to write this. Lately I haven't been able to sleep. I don't know what my problem is. I don't even know why I'm really writing this. I find it's easier for me to express myself and say how I feel on a blank screen instead of on a piece of paper so here I go. I'm your typical teenage girl, I love sports, reading, and food but my passion is writing, and that's what I'm here to do. If you're reading this, you're about to learn a lot more about me then you might know.

All's fair in love and basketball; Kadijah Marie